My first child

My first child was
my Boston Terrier
Rufus

I don't talk very much about him,
because since we've had the boys he's gone from child to dog
He took the transition very easily

He's a great dog
He use to be an apartment dog and now we live in a house
which he likes even more
He listens very well to comands
He tends to sleep a lot,
but plays hard when you're willing to play

If anyone is looking for a lap dog and great family friendly pet
I would definitely go with a Boston Terrier
He's very adorable and versitile

He likes to dress up

Nathan always shares his food with Rufus

Look at that face =]

He loves when the boys give him treats

We love you RuRu

Lovey

One day last year my little sister came home with a present for my son from her vacation,
It was a large stuffed moose.
He has slept with, ate with, and been to the doctors with the Moose ever since.
It's his object of comfort and best friend.
He talks to him all of the time.
He is mighty large so sometimes he's like tagging along another child,
but he makes Colin happy and that's what's important
We love you Mr. Moosey Moose.

What is your child's lovey, or better yet what was yours'?

Grandparents

Oh the joy of having grandparents...
This is  my mom with my boys. 
We are so lucky because
both of our parents love our kids so much
and would do anything to help us out with them. 
We love you all =]

Happy not Birthday Colin...

Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to take the boys out to start trying to find things to make Colin's invitations for his birthday party and for his decorations as -of course- he wants dirt bike/snowmobile decorations and I haven't found any that I like...

Come to find out Colin wouldn't nap because he was excited for his birthday
He thought it was his actually birthday yesterday
So we HAD to have (a last minute store bought) cake, sing to him, and (blue) ice cream...

Thank goodness he didn't ask for presents LOL

Do you notice my new header and my amazing picture quality =]
Thanks hubby for my amazing Christmas gift
ESO DIGITAL CANNON BLAHH BLAHH BLAHH
I will figure out how to use it  when it's not on auto... promise =]

Lately...

Lately I have been having a hard time just being who I am...

I started to loose touch with myself when I had my boys. 
When I decided to put my dreams on hold for them, and myself. 
 Sometimes most of the time I find myself wondering if our situation is really what works for us.  Am I the best possible mom that I can be when I'm home with my boys 24-7? 


I know I'll never regret this, but I always feel like
I should be doing more with myself and for myself than I do. 
I should finish my masters,
use my degrees.
Get out there and work full time.
I'm never happy with where I am in my life.
I work full time- I don't like it, it's too much time away
I work part time- I don't like it it's not enough money for bills

My life is my boys 24-7. 
I work part-time evenings, or fill in at daycare with them there with me.
When I'm away from them I cannot think about anything but them,
what they're doing,
if they are okay. 
What people think because they aren't with me.

I read something recently that in the United States
we are one of the only countries that frowns on getting help raising our children. 
It is necessary for family or hired help for our sanity to accept it- the rest of the world does it.
I should accept it.
I do try to.
But, I cannot enjoy myself fully unless they are with me
and even then, if I need to get somethings accomplished,
I feel like I cannot enjoy 'myself'. 

I have totally lost touch with who I use to be
and have a tough time accepting who I am. 

I have been reading some helpself books and have been doing a lot of deep thought. 
I want to focus more on who I am, not who should I be, will be, or was. 
I want to focus more on who I want to be remembered as when I pass on than 
I want to focus on my boys and NOT CARE what others think I am doing or not doing with myself. 
I want to be more genuine. 

I feel like in today's day with technology it is easier for us to get caught up in what others are doing with their lives and compare your life to them.  I think it's also easier with technology to get caught up in what others think of us for what we are doing with our lives.  The thing is they don't 'really' know what's going on with us.  Just as we don't 'really' know what's going on with them.  I say here's to being ourselves and not judging or letting others judge us.

Colin says and does the silliest things...

Have you ever heard of KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS???

Well lately Colin has been saying and doing the silliest things,
which, of course,  is always reminding me why I love him so much

For instance, the other day in the car Colin was singing to my mom and I,
we were trying to get him to sing Old MacDonald
My mom says to him 'Old MacDonald had a... What did he have Colin?'
What do you think Colin says?

'French Fries'  Oh jeeze I about died laughing...
 He didn't know why we were laughing so hard but it was hilarious. 

Also a couple of days ago he had a couple of books under his arm
saying that he was going to bring his books to daycare with him. 
I was so proud of him for thinking of that as a toy to bring along to daycare,
but you know why he wanted to bring them?? 
Not to read
NOPE for jumps for his dirtbikes-
he enjoys proping up his books and
making them into jumps for his dirtbikes and dirtbike guys. 
Silly me for thinking he wanted to share them with his friends.

Oh Colin you truly do light up my world. Mommy loves you so much muah.